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THE TOP TEN WORST CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES

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This festive season comes with a few certainties. You will get socks as a gift. You’ll regret eating those sprouts (not as much as those around you) and you’ll groan at the terrible Christmas Cracker jokes. But you know what, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The classic Christmas Cracker joke ‘groan’ has been a family tradition since I can remember.
Greetings card company, www.thortful.com, tasked the UK to submit their Christmas Cracker jokes and vote for the joke they believe to be the worst. I know, I know… there’s plenty to choose from.

Having analysed the entries and votes, thortful can reveal that the worst Christmas cracker joke, as voted for by the nation, is…

*Brace yourself for some extreme groaning

What do you get if you lie under a cow?

………….A pat on the head!

What’s that, you want more? No? Well, you’re getting the rest of the list anyway because ’tis the season!

Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem?

…It takes a miracle to find three wise men there 

Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?

…They were two deer 

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

…Stick with me and we’ll go places

Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?

…Because they always drop their needles 

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

…Tinsillitis 

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

…It’s Christmas, Eve.

What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf?

…You are so last season 

What athlete is warmest in winter?

…A long jumper

What is the best Christmas present?

…A broken drum, you can’t beat it!

Jokes that didn’t make the top ten include ‘What carol do they sing in the desert? O Camel Ye Faithful’, ‘How do you know if a snowman is actually a lady? It has snowballs (no balls),’ and ‘How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited? He keeps a logbook’.

To see the full index, go to: https://www.thortful.com/christmas-cracker-jokes

Mikey Clarke

Speaking of Christmas Cracker Jokes. My good friend, Roe and I filmed a ‘Try not to Laugh Challenge – Christmas Cracker Edition’. Easiest challenge ever or surprisingly difficult when put under pressure? Find out below:

 

Legend

Written by ESP Magazine

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